Wino Vagino

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it need sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know why nobody told you
how to unfold you love
I don't know how someone controlled you
they bought and sold you

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know how you were diverted
you were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
no one alerted you

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at you all
Still my guitar gently weeps

Oh, oh, oh

                       oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Insane in the brain

Thought of the day: we are all insane don't you think? Every single person running around life trying to be something. Trying to be rich, happy, romantic, sarcastic, realistic, optimistic. It is all a dance, a crazy, insane dance. Even when you are trying to be "perfect" isn't that your insanity? Possibly.

Borderline

I find some, unsettling. I like it that way.

one of my favorites

Slow down, Lie down,
Remember it's just you and me.
Don't sell out, bow out,
Remember how this used to be.

I just want you closer,
Is that alright?
Baby let's get closer tonight


Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me

Oh, I've found, that I'm bound
To wander down that one way road.
And I realize all about your lies
But I'm no wiser than the fool I was before.

I just want you closer,
Is that alright?
Baby let's get closer tonight


Oh, baby, baby, baby,
Tell me how can, how can this be wrong?



Yeah, lay down beside me.

One last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me

where is your head @?

1. Meet someone special
2. Build a relationship
3. Get commitment
4. While always making sure he is up to all the "standards" that have been set
5. Get a ring
6. Have the DREAM wedding
7. Buy a House
8. Have kids/Have career

With all of these rules laid out before us, no wonder we are lost within our own minds. We are missing out on happiness, and relationships. The connections that are right in front of our face. There are so many things we "should" have, "should" be, and "should" like. We are lost inside the image of who we "should" be, we lose sight in who we are at this very moment.
I cant help but wonder if our minds are too occupied with having/finding a relationship, that we are blind to the men all around us. Who is holding your hand? Being your shoulder to cry on? Who is walking by you on the street, giving you a smile? We are oblivious to the everyday attention we get, because we are lost inside the abyss of "why does no one want me?"
Have we been programed to form a stronger relationship with our ideas, than with those around us? Maybe it is time to throw out the ideas of the past, and write our own future. Would you cut out rule #2? Would you forgo all of them except #7? Would you pass on all the traditional ideas of happiness, to buy a home of your own? Happily living independently? Does our true happiness fall inside the lines, or outside? Would we be happier if we colored outside the set lines of the picture? If we stopped worrying about being seen as messy, would you make our own rules? Would you let go of "should"? Maybe forgoing the whole pre-copied picture,and draw our own sketch of the perfect life.

Put a ring on it?

Who doesn't love a little bling? I find myself fawning over every little sparkle that I see. I linger to drool. As I gaze longingly over the shine. It is the idea of a nice, big, rock on my finger. It is easy for me to get swept into the idea of the proposal. To unknowingly be the recipient of not only the new jewelry, but also all of the engagement attention. Even as a woman who isn't sure she wants the married life for herself, I am still captivated by the idea. With the surprise of the big question, and the little box that holds the best jewelry you will ever get, who wouldn't find themselves contemplating.....Happy Ever After?
This slippery slope is one that I visited, briefly. I found myself engaged at the ripe old, and drunk age of twenty-one. Anyone that is passed the binge drinking age, knows that this is probably not the best time to be making life long commitments. Its hard to plan a future when you are blacked out. I found this out the hard way. The relationship consisted of four months of engagement, that followed only the four months of dating. Slippery slope, its a nice way of saying plain immature attempt at being an adult. At the time though it seemed like a sort of good idea. Or at least I talked myself into believing that. I'm not sure I ever thought it would actually happen. I knew that we were both incredibly immature, and I didn't think that was a great equation for lasting love. When adding childish to drunk, things tend to blow up. Then go ahead and multiply this by two, and you my engagement. The attention was fun, and the ring was shall we say, affordable. in the end now I feel like a giant fake when I look back at this. I was an impostor that was using the importance of marriage as a fun activity.
I believe that marriage is something very special. I believe it takes more work that most admit. It takes deep respect, and love. It is special, and I find myself not sure if I am special enough for it. I am not saying that I am not good enough for marriage. I do not know if I can give what it takes for a life long commitment. I see myself loving someone forever, I hope for this. However when I envision this future, I see myself choosing to be there with the loved one every day. I do not want to be held, or have someone held, by a piece of paper. If I find this to be true in my life, If my choice is to never be legally bound to someone else, what do I get?  Do I forgo the party, the gifts, and the ring? Do I get a commitment ring for the devotion, and love I have put into this partnership? Will I then be a woman of fifty with a "boyfriend"? Or would I just have a perpetual engagement?

When choosing other paths do we end screwing ourselves over? Do we miss out on all the fun perks, or do we end up rewarding ourselves in the end?

To be continued.....